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Published Works |
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| Maggie Van Ostrand's columns and articles cover more topics than Washington has lobbyists. Each is listed below, with a descriptive blurb. We don't know what a blurb is, but Maggie thinks they may be useful here. |
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Interview With Baby New Year
Who else makes a better interview than the New Year's Eve Baby
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Santa Cleared for Flight by U.S. Dept. of Transportation
For Immediate Release
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Sex and the Biddy
We don't want to be on call for the 24/7 service-on-demand sexual urges unleashed in our men by this little blue pill. What're we? Domino's? We do not believe in delivered sex. Gentlemen, we are not a pizza.
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Las Posadas, 2004
Commercialization of Christmas reaches far ... but fails to grasp Mexico.
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The Truth About Rudolph
Knowledge is power, and we should know all about who is actually delivering our Christmas goodies.
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Talking Turkey With Butterball
It's that time of year fit only for kids, husbands, and friends. For the cook, it's a time of planning, hard work, and head-throbbing anxiety.
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Got Flu? Try A Sock Full of Onions
We've had Spanish, Asian, and Hong Kong flu, but where, I ask you, is an American name in this group? What is it about us that we have to outsource even a cure? Where's the Hackensack flu or the Chattanooga flu or the Muleshoe flu?
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Scents and Sensibility
Nothing says more about you than the way you smell, say the perfume ads. Trouble is, the scentologists didn't stop there, they want everything in our lives to smell like something else. Today,about the only thing that smells the same as it always did is the end of the nozzle at a gas pump.
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The Pinking of America
Besides foreign fabrics turning your laundry pink, they shrink. It’s no laughing matter after your new duds have shrunk in the wash and you try to get into them, especially the ones you pull on over your head. It’s like wearing pantyhose on your face. Like a Chinese finger puzzle, the more you struggle, the tighter you're trapped.
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What's In A Name? Plenty.
The way to a man's heart may be through his stomach, but the way to a woman's is through her ears.
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