May 2, 2024


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Maggie Van Ostrand's columns and articles cover more topics than Washington has lobbyists. Each is listed below, with a descriptive blurb. We don't know what a blurb is, but Maggie thinks they may be useful here.
  • Naked Came the Canadians
    "If Donald Duck doesn't wear pants, why should we?" shout nude Canadian citizens.
  • Peeps Alert
    Peeps believe their mission in life is to provide comfort to humanhood and are often the only friends available for those addicted to their company who live in rural areas where Peeps are hard to find. For those people, Peeps Anonymous meetings are springing up all over the country.
  • Fry Me to the Moon
    Liza Minelli as Sally Bowles in Cabaret, sings, "When I go, I'm going like Sally." When I go, I want to go like Hunter Thompson -- shot out of a cannon.
  • Cher, Au Contraire
    Cher and her "Never-Say-Goodbye Tour" will be coming to a venue near you soon, no matter where you live.
  • Oscar Balls
    Inside the Academy
  • I, Jackson Juror
    I’m so upset over Michael Jackson’s upcoming trial that my hair turned blonde overnight.
  • Brando and I Will Always Have Ralph's
    A tell-something story
  • Where's Johnny?
    Johnny Carson died. Or maybe not.
  • Harvard Strangles First Amendment
    If the president of Harvard University gets flack for expressing his opinion (backed by science), then what chance have the rest of us?
  • Wrinkleproof Moms?
    There are two indisputable indications of uncommon bravery. The first is when the military earn their medals, and the second is when the moms earn their wrinkles.
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©2021 Maggie Van Ostrand, all rights reserved.

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