Maggie Van Ostrand - Syndicated Humor Columnist

Camilla's Milliner
What's wrong with a head that requires ten fittings for one hat?

Naked Came the Canadians
With all the nudity going on in Canada, I'm beginning to think nobody wears any clothes at all, except maybe the mannequins in the shop windows.

Prince Charles to Marry His Mother
Camilla Parker-Bowles, in an effort to be loved by the people of Great Britain and its near-flung empire, snorted, "No, I really do not wish to be addressed as Princess of Wales for that was our own dear and thin Diana's title. I would instead decree myself the title of Duchess of Cornwales, or even Consorting Princess. Or perhaps Queen, which does indeed have a pleasant ring to it."

The Beer-Drinking Urban Canadian
A recent scientific analysis revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.

Bottoms Up
While drinking alcoholic beverages ran pretty much neck and neck between Canada and the U.S. for over 50 years, in the last few decades, Canadians have consistently out-boozed Americans. That can't be easy.

Adolph Hitler Awarded Nobel Peace Prize
It has just been announced by a spokesperson for the Nobel Prize Committee, that the 2005 Nobel Peace Prize is to be awarded posthumously to Adolph Hitler, Austrian-born leader of the German state, and head Nazi dude of the 30s and 40s.

Terrorists in Bras
If the civilized world is serious about learning secret plans of suspected terrorists imprisoned at Guantanamo Bay or elsewhere, they should listen to women, who know how to torture way better than the Spanish Inquisition. Ask any divorced guy.

Are Amputees Getting Sexier, Or Is It My Imagination?
Is it becoming quite acceptable, even fashionable, in the 21st Century to be without a limb? One look at the Canadian Amputee Hockey Team and 2003 World Gold Medal Champions, should be a clue.

Yanking Karla
Canada's Paul Bernardo and Karla Homolka were the Ken and Barbie of Killers.

Mother's Day Revenge of the Uglies
"Parents would probably deny it, but Canadian researchers have made a startling assertion: Parents take better care of pretty children than they do ugly ones," stated the New York Times.

Canadian Articles